For Now.

I sat down on Southend beach today and yesterday, and as I looked out to sea, I thought desperately of returning to the Philippines. I miss it so much. I miss the way the kids run up to me for a hug, and how the stars shine brightly in the night sky. I miss the way the sun comes up every morning at 5am, and merges gloriously back into the horizon at 5.30pm. I miss the way the people say good morning. I miss the smiles on the kids faces. I miss the feeling that what I was doing was actually making a difference. That I was part of something so great, so life changing.

And I thought of all the things here in Southend that are simular. Of the things that I'm involved with that maybe don't change lives as dramatically as building someone a house. But of the small things in life that really make a difference in someones life. And I guess, at some point in the future, I will return to the Philippines, and experience life out there once more. But for now, life is here. Home is here. And I have to make the best of that.

Accepting that doesn't make the heart ache any less, or the sinking feeling in my stomach any easier to bear, but it reminds me that life goes on. And life must continue, here and there, as it always has done. And if you see me anytime... I'd appreciate a hug.