For Now.

I sat down on Southend beach today and yesterday, and as I looked out to sea, I thought desperately of returning to the Philippines. I miss it so much. I miss the way the kids run up to me for a hug, and how the stars shine brightly in the night sky. I miss the way the sun comes up every morning at 5am, and merges gloriously back into the horizon at 5.30pm. I miss the way the people say good morning. I miss the smiles on the kids faces. I miss the feeling that what I was doing was actually making a difference. That I was part of something so great, so life changing.

And I thought of all the things here in Southend that are simular. Of the things that I'm involved with that maybe don't change lives as dramatically as building someone a house. But of the small things in life that really make a difference in someones life. And I guess, at some point in the future, I will return to the Philippines, and experience life out there once more. But for now, life is here. Home is here. And I have to make the best of that.

Accepting that doesn't make the heart ache any less, or the sinking feeling in my stomach any easier to bear, but it reminds me that life goes on. And life must continue, here and there, as it always has done. And if you see me anytime... I'd appreciate a hug.

Cause Every Song's Got Analyn In

Look down where those battered shoes lay
Ruined remains of a life, now rotting on the rubbish heap
They once ran down muddy paths
In and out of makeshift huts and houses
And now they lay, abandoned.
Tattered and torn.

Look down where that battered dress lay
Ruined remains of a life, now rotting on the rubbish heap
It once danced on a concrete platform
In and out of many laughing children
And now it lays, abandoned.
Tattered and torn.

Look down at where that body lay
Shameless excuse of life, on the rotting rubbish heap
She scavenged this place for something to sell
In and out of toxic rivers
And now she sleeps here, abandoned.
Hope tattered and torn.

Look down at the house where that baby lay
A new life, where poverty reigns
He will live and die in this place
Just like so many before him.
Innocent now, as he lays, new born.
In muddy rags, tattered and torn.

Ami Wager © 10th April 08

Something Extra.

Well, I've started the Avenue and the Philippines group on Facebook cause I thought it would be a good way of publicising this even more, plus everyone who joins the group can upload photos, I've put all mine on there of the Joyland kids, adorable. :)


We all came back from this trip with something extra. For some, it was a new found meaning in life, a new love for people living far away, for children, for others, it was new friends and new relationships with old aquaintances. Glen just came back with a hole in his head. (What a day...) Nah. It was seriously awesome.


However, went to the Doc's today, I have a mosquito bite on my leg thats been looking a bit dodgy and my legs been a bit achy these last few days, doctor took one look at it and put me on a course of anti-biotics. Its a bit awkward, going to have to try and keep it dry and remember to take the tablets an hour before I want to eat. Still, would I change anything about the trip? Not for the world.

Muicha Kang Itlog! (Jo...)

So we've been here a whole week now, and so much has happened that it will be a little hard to write it all in one blog! I am sure you are all desperate to hear all the details of 'when I was in the Philippines' but you shall have to wait another week!

Highlights have definately been playing with the kids at Joyland, each of them has a special character and dynamic that adds to the group experience, and even the ones that were shy and unwilling to join in last Sunday got a fair few piggy backs when we were there yesterday! I had the added pleasure of hearing them all sing 'Happy Birthday' last Monday in the classroom (I was the cause of many a classroom disturbance...) and using my skills of making 'Star bucks' out of cardboard, which are actually origami boxes....

The swimming parties and the McDonalds trip with the kids from Dacutan was also heartmelting. The kids are so happy to limpit themselves to you whilst swimming, even if you can bearly keep your own head above the water! Visiting the village on Thursday night and sharing festivities with the locals was also a major :D in all of our weeks - its amazing how well some of the members of the team can move on the dancefloor... We also had the chance to hang out with the Payatas volunteers over the last week and get them to teach us some Elongo and Tagalog, useful words I tell you, useful phrases. I am sure Jo will be most appreciative of my new ability to insult him in two languages... ;)

Jo and Emma have been great transporting us around and they had a well deserved rest at the weekend when we went to a Diving Resort in Sipilay, (South West Negros) It was great to experience a different side to Filipino life, relaxing on the beach, listening to music and drinking Ice drinks... a different experience indeed!

Saying goodbye to the Joyland kids was heartbreaking yesterday, Manang Ami was asked many a time if she would be back Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday... unfortunately the answer was a no. But when pressed for an answer I had to say, 'Fibe hundred sleeps...' The look on Resthor's face will stay with me...

Still, a new week is ahead, and a new adventure. Manila has the pleasure of our presence for the next week, and then life continues, a little differently than before. I have changed, in proportions that blogs cannot record. But you will see, next time we meet. Until then my friends.

God Bless.
xxx

Three Days That Changed The World.

So its only three days till we set off on our adventure. (Most) bags have been packed, Jo is off this afternoon, final preparations have been set in motion, money has been raised, and emotions are running high. This is an adventure that will challenge us, upset us, and will leave us unable to ever be the same people again. There will be times of excitement, times of anticipation and of course, times of exhaustion; this is not a holiday. Its a chance to change lives, for the better. To have an impact on the world, on the individual worlds of individual people that we will meet and work with. A chance to take Christ to people who don't know where their next meal will come from, or what challenges the next day will bring. And most of all, it will be the chance to experience Christ in a new place, to experience the God that is present amongst suffering and pain, amongst poverty and hunger, and that mourns for those that the world has turned its back against.

Please continue to pray for us all, as we go. There will be lots to do, lots of people to meet, to help and to be helped by. I have no doubt there will be situations when it seems like we are not making a difference, times when we just won't know what to say (well, excluding Jo in that one... ) But there will also many times of sharing, and seeing some fruit of past efforts and work, and continued efforts and work, and moments of complete happiness in the faces of those who notice our love.

This story will continue... so keep watching. And learn with us as we grow, and as we change. Don't be afraid to ask questions, to experience some of that with us. Sometimes we will be ready to share, and sometimes not quite so. But we will work through that, as it comes. As each challenge rises and falls, as the sun dawns and sets. Tomorrow is a new day. The world is changing.

Not Quite A Far Flung Traveller... Yet...

Hello! Least experienced traveller here! So the countdown is down to single figures now - just over 9 days before we travel. Am I excited? YES!!! Am I scared? YES! But do I know that our God is an awesome Provider and Protector? Absolutely!

I know that God is going to do some awesome things on this trip, both in our hearts, as volunteers, missionaries, far flung travellers, and in the hearts of the dear people who are going to accept and welcome us, teach us new things, share with us in the experiences we are going to experience. Am I looking forward to this trip? More than anything ever before. To be given the chance to do this, to have this experience, time to love, time to grow and time to learn from the people I will meet, is a great gift from God, and I cannot wait.

I definately have the smiles on this week. :D